I just got back from great trip Cincinnati and seeing my son! Due to a cancelled flight and delayed connecting flight I had some time to finish a book called The Entitlement Cure. I received the book for free after agreeing to be a part of the launch team and though it’s not always the case this book is definitely worth reading.
I wanted to list 15 ways to cure entitlement that I came away with and also pulled from the book which is loaded with tools and skills you can apply to your life.
- Know what entitlement is! I think it’s easy to make sweeping statements like, “this generation is so entitled” and point the finger at someone, not really understanding the deep rooted issues. Entitlement is the belief that I am exempt from responsibility and I am owed special treatment (Page 19).
- All of us exhibit some level of entitled attitudes, even highly responsible and giving people (Page 25). Right when I thought I was reading this book to help someone else, turns out the Holy Spirit wanted to highlight some wrong attitudes in my heart. Ouch! Yes, you don’t have to be a young spoiled brat to suffer from entitlement. It’s in all of us!
- The cure for entitlement is the difficult formed habit of doing what is best, rather than what is comfortable, to achieve a worthwhile outcome (Page 26). Dr. John Townsend refers to these habits as the Hard Way- difficult choices we have to make to travel down the road less traveled.
- We need affirmation when we try had and achieve well (Page 41). There is some excellent truths on praise and reward problems. Praise should be reserved for those times someone stretches himself beyond the norm, puts extra effort or time into a task, or exceeds expectations (Page 39). I wish I could list them all here, but the bottom line is we can’t hand out trophies to everyone!
- God really does want the best for us! By living according to the principles that originated from God who never shirks from doing things the right way, we can experience his best (Page 51).
- Helping people who are stuck in entitlement requires me to ask myself why I want to help them. The best and highest “why” in helping someone get unstuck is: I help because I want them to live well, relate well, and work well.
- You minimize regret tomorrow by doing hard things today. The hard way will draw you to healthy and balanced people who are fun, who respect you, who accept you and who will also push you when you need it (Page 100,103)
- Discipline will help me achieve what matters. It is the engine that drives my dreams, my vision, and my goals (Page 111).
- People with a healthy and accurate self-image don’t have a big problem with failure (Page 132).
- Change “I deserve” to “I am responsible (Chapter 8). Yes, that just the title of chapter 8 which is full of applicable truths on how to make this change.
- Identify your Next Hard Thing (Page 158). Your NHT is the choice you need to make that will get you past the difficulty.
- The little thing is a big deal. Making and keeping inconvenient commitments is a truly important matter at all levels of life (Page 175).
- Respect the future. We are built to think about and get energy from the hope that comes from a bright future (Page 196).
- Face the pain that gets you somewhere (Chapter 14). It’s worth purchasing the book just to read this chapter.
- Create a Community of Cliff Divers (Page 265). Throughout the book Dr. Townsend refers to having a life team. This team is best described in the last chapter. Good risk takers feel attracted to one another. They understand the stakes, support each other, challenge each other, and help one another when the chips are down.
You can preorder Dr. John Townsend’s book, The Entitlement Cure here. It’s a longer read, but it really is a tool to have in your toolbox that you will able to refer to again and again as well as implement a successful cure for entitlement in your own life!