How to Avoid Drowning in Self-Pity

Image Courtesy of winnond via

Image Courtesy of winnond via

Have you ever thrown a pity party? I HAVE! In fact just about a week ago I caught myself preparing for another celebration of my latest disappointment.  I had to stop myself and ask the all important question, WHY?

At the center of a pity party you will discover yourself along with your set back, your circumstance and your frustration.  It is a self-centered celebration of wrong thinking, bad feelings and confusion.  It’s a party scene you want to avoid at all costs.  Here’s how you avoid drowning in your own self-pity:

1. Don’t Magnify Your Misfortune.  Misfortune is a result of an event that clouds your thinking and leaves you with feelings of unhappiness.  It is a meaningless mindset that magnifies your thoughts and feelings about your life to be greater than God’s process and purpose in your life.

2. Don’t Dwell on Your Sorrows – There are two definitions for sorrow. The first is a feeling of sadness or grief. I am not telling you not to be sad or grieve in a time of personal loss. Instead my focus for this post is on the second definition which is an unhappy or unpleasant state. When we dwell on our unhappiness nothing will make us happy resulting in us being a very unpleasant person to be around.  Dwelling on our outward circumstances will never bring the inward satisfaction our souls long for. Long lasting happiness only comes from a inward joy that is generated from an genuine relationship with Jesus Christ, who takes our sorrow and turns it into a productive tomorrow.

3. Don’t Make Yourself a Martyr – When you meditate on the unfairness of your situation you invite unbiblical pain and suffering into your life.  Self-martyrs are not dying to themselves they are denying God’s refining process in their lives. There is always a reason for biblical pain and suffering and it always produces purpose (Romans 8:28). Unbiblical pain and suffering always results in confusion and feelings that life is not fair, that somehow you always get the short end of the stick and that you were born a loser.  It fails to believe that anything good can come from your suffering or trial.

Have you ever battled self-pity? How did you snap out of it?




  1. georgiana says

    Great post. I used to be an expert at this! Now, catch myself going into the pit, and start saying things out loud that God says about me. I battle it with scripture that comes to mind. Some days are harder than others, but God’s Word has such power that it helps me not go there like I used to before. Thanks for sharing!

    • says

      That’s a good exercise! We have to crank up the volume on what God has spoken to us….the volume of oir praise has to be louder than our pain! Thanks for the added advice!

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